What should I do I need help

So for the past many months maybe 3-4 months I haven’t eaten my cum I was so obsessed with the whole thing when I first got into it but now I never really care about doing it or being bothered to do it but I wanna be into it still but I just don’t know how to get back into it but even when I was obsessed with it 98% pnc stopped me from doing it and when I did it on chat with other people I lied almost every time so I’m sorry whoever sees this that we were meant to eat our cum together but I just could never I tried everything ruined orgasm countless times cei cum in cup on the floor but nothing worked no matter how kinky I made it well I still have done it before but in about 2 years of being obsessed only about 8 times I followed through and all those times were legs over head it got to a point everyday for many many months I would try to eat it but rarely to never succeed but I don’t wanna just quit I really wanna eat my cum and enjoy it can any help me with some methods and not just some 2 second comment that I’ve heard for a thousand times