I miss my old self and want to lose weight but im scared the ed is gonna come back

I've been recovered for 3 years now but after recovery i was still skinnier then before the ed. After i went to high school i gained all the weight back because of stress. I wanna lose the weight and look like i used to after recovery but i'm scared if i start weighting myself again it will come back. I actually tried losing the weight a lot of times but it never worked because i don't have motivation without weighting myself. What should i do? Should i go to a doctor? Therapist?