Does anyone else cry while listening to music because they can't handle it?

I know in the grand scope of trauma related ills this might seem silly, but it's been grating on me more and more daily. This question is multi faceted so bear with me. I just want to know if anybody out there does the same because it feels like I'm the only one on this planet.

I don't mean being moved by sad music and crying because it's emotional. I could be listening to any genre, hyperpop, EDM, the most upbeat song you could imagine and it will make me spontaneously cry. Almost always it happens because it is an artist I look up to, whose career took off recently or maybe someone established I've admired for years. And I cry because deep down I envy them so much, and I wish that it was me who had this level of success. I torture myself with Netflix concert specials, watching them because I love the artist and their music but I cry nearly all the way throughout because deep down I wish that was me. Almost always it is female artists, though once or twice it has been a male one. I also watch the Coachella livestream every year, it's one of the highlights of my mundane little life but also something of a Dante-esque circle of hell: I watch the artists I love, I cry because I'm happy for them achieving success, but also cry because it's not me who is up on that stage instead. Even just writing this now conjures up these feelings and I tear up.

What's even more ridiculous is that music is not my ultimate dream career, just one adjacent to it, but it's still one I constantly fantasize about: what kind of albums I'd release if I could, how exciting touring life would be (albeit challenging). I know the pitfalls and the iron grip the labels can hold on artists but despite this, I'd rather have those problems than my awfully mundane ones. Never mind that so many of these artists have been grinding toward their careers since childhood, and maybe even missed their childhood or have their own traumas from growing up in Hollywood/the music industry, and yet I still envy them in a twisted way. Reading Jennette McCurdy's I'm Glad My Mom Died was deeply relatable to my childhood, her mom was worse than my caregiver but I still envy her because at least her mom pushed her to stardom, and I just got trauma from mine.

Maybe this will make me sound like I have no problems or challenges in life since I hyperfocus on this, but I do have plenty, it's just that the other ones are common and my friends can relate to them, but I've never met anyone who relates to this. A recent memory I have is waiting for the bus in the rain, at first I was listening to an artist I love to pass the time and enjoying myself, but quickly enough I began to spiral into thoughts of how amazing her life must be and how miserable mine is and what a fucking loser I am. It's like when people say music is my medicine, I totally agree but sometimes it's my trigger and poison as well. I hate that. I listen to music and it makes me cry, and then I feel stupid for it having made me cry, but I can't be the only one.

At the end of the day I'm just tired of feeling so pathetic, like I'm not where I should be in life. I know this is the depression and CPTSD talking but it's so hard to shake this feeling from my core identity. It's the big underlying reason why I can't fully enjoy music. I'm starting to be unable to casually listen to music, because I know I'll eventually be crying due to the fact that I'm not successful like the person I'm hearing over the speakers.

TLDR: Music makes me happy but also deeply miserable because I compare myself to successful artists and feel I have no worth due to my cptsd fails in life. And I wish I could just enjoy music like normal people do again.