I don’t know if it was cosca or not..

This story is from a long time ago, my memory isn’t the greatest but I do remember the key details. So I (soon to be 16f) think I may have been a victim of cos a when I was younger. This happened when I was aged somewhere between 5 and 8 (like I said I have a bad memory) and my grandma & grandad took me and my cousins (there were 4 of us in total) to a large zoo. One of the nights when we were staying in a hotel, I shared a room with my cousin who was around a year older than me, let’s call her J. Me and J had a lot of unsupervised internet access so unfortunately we knew what (or what the basis was) sex was as well as other things that kids out age definitely shouldn’t have known. We were staying up late, gossiping like most young girls do, when the topic came up, I don’t know/remember how or why it came up, but J then suggested we should try it. I was nervous and didn’t want to, but after J kept asking I caved, I climbed over to her bed and just kinda let her take the lead, she originally wanted us to be fully naked, but I really didn’t want to so I only agreed to take off my pants (and maybe my shirt? I can’t remember) but kept on my underwear, I think she was wearing the same if not a little less. It was mainly just grinding our clothed ‘parts’ together but I remember being uncomfortable and grossed out, I loved my big cousin (and still do, in a familial way of course) and I didn’t wanna let her down, but I get grossed out and icky whenever I remember this. I’m not sure if she even remembers this as we never talked about it after or since…