We don’t exist anymore but I wish we did

I miss two people but they don’t exist anymore 
I long for a touch and warmth that now only exists in memories 
We get to exist in a space where we can pretend that we’re still those people 
But it’s different now because the things unsaid are still on the top of our tongues, but no we CAN’T say them, and the people we were before were afraid to.  
I convince myself that it’s for the best…this way things don’t get messy…this way I don’t get hurt, but the truth is that I am hurting. 
It wouldn’t matter if we talked or not, if you were alive or not, because you aren’t the old you and I’m not the old me…and that’s what I miss, the old us…and every time I think about us, the moments we had alone, the subtle moments we had in a crowd, all the things only we know…it’s like being stabbed with a dual blade…the joy of the memory accompanied by the pain of reality. 
 I don’t know if I can ever let go of who we were…we weren’t perfect but the times that we had were; I’m not sure I want to get over something that was so real, raw, genuine.  
Two people getting to be themselves together. 
We didn’t get to love for a lifetime, but we got a lifetime in our love, and while I am grateful, I am also saddened that it didn’t last…the world needs love like that in it, and we let it burn out