financial insecurity fueled by an ex

I have never been smart with my money, I have stopped going to college for a year just to work and I never saved up anything because all of my money was spent to luho, skincare and food etc, live a luxurious life I never had growing up. But that was before I didn’t know any better and the thing is I’m in a relationship now, LDR to be exact. I’ve had one ex who I was with for three years, and I just found out he was basically backstabbing me even though we ended on a very normal way, or I believe. He basically said/saying to his friends and I quote, “I could’ve been rich if I haven’t spent so much on our dates.” Which made me question everything whether what we had was even real, lol, I vaguely remember that when I was working and had to stop studying that was 2024, I supported him when he was the one studying and I was spending for our dates and etc. I could call him ungrateful but that would’ve been unfair to a life that he’d been through, I could point out every flaws that he had but I wouldn’t because I’m not that kind of person. Despite everything I always chose to look at the bright side and not judge a person, definitely someone that I had loved, just always understand and understand and understand. The reason I’m writing this is because I just felt that it was unfair to me, alongside other things like when I defended him from everything when my family would say something negative about him, I’ve never allowed my family or friends say anything about him that I know would hurt his feelings. But to read that he allowed his friends and family to badmouth me, call my partner ugly and paint me as the bad guy and sole reason why we ended was just very telling of the kind of person he was, or still is. I’m definitely not a perfect person, I know I’ve made mistakes but my heart’s always been in the right place (Simple by Kali Uchis, 2024) Anyway, maybe I can start working again, balance my studies/work and properly save up this time, be wise with my money while at the same time showing love how my current partner deserves it. Even though I have this insecurity I wouldn’t let it get in the way between me and my partner, I would not let it get in the way of making myself a better person, I’ll always choose to be a better person from who I was and not from other people.

I know there are people out there like me who’s had and having my current situation, I’ll appreciate the wisdom you can leave for me to learn and the wisdom I can share with you guys is to just always be kind, most especially to yourself.