Lupus and social life (and relationship perhaps)

Those cheesy teen movies had me believing that I could find a support group or group therapy and make friends with them and potentially find the LOML amongst them with no struggle! Now seriously, how do you socialize? Here I am in my mid 20s, avoiding people more than I avoid the sun because of all the changes and trauma my body has gone through. Stretchmarks from rapid weight fluctuations, moonface from taking prednisone for months, thin hair from shedding for years, my crooked fingers from joint swelling, and so on and so forth. I know these are all insecurities that are mostly in my head but I just can’t help but feel like I’m unlovable. I mean finding someone who’d be willing to be with me knowing about my diagnosis is hard in itself, but all these physical insecurities just make it seem even more impossible. I know it’ll be okay in the end, but I just wish I didn’t have to even think this way in the first place. I mean not just romantic relationships, I struggle with platonic friendships too. I barely have any friends, and living in a foreign country doesn’t help at all. I try to put myself out there as much as I can but it takes so much energy from an introverted person like me. At some point, I find myself having to explain myself to new friends and I’m just tired of this disease. Really grieving the life I could’ve lived without it.