I genuinely believe caffeine is a HUGE reason for my problems in life.

Let's just cut to where we currently are; 18, kicked out of my house 2 weeks before my 18th, horrible relationship with family, moved in with girlfriend.

I genuinely believe caffeine is a huge reason for my problems in life. Ive been high dosing (600-800mg) caffeine for about 3-4 years, and truthfully, its caused my teenage years to be extremely unstable and disoriented. I was anxious, extremely alert, always on edge, overstimulated, many things which I believe contributed to my life completely downspiralling.

The constant rush, alertness, pushing people away, anxiety, poor conversation all caught up to me. Only until recently did I realise how much of a lie ive been living. The problem is, with caffeine, a need will grow and compound up and up gradually. You'll increase the dose. Your only source of energy will be from caffeine. Caffeine gets too weak? You order narcoleptic meds, mix it with caffeine, and the cycle continues. I hate how this happened to me. I became extremely antisocial from such a dysregulated nervous system and constant stress, poor sleep, heightened alertness where I would rush sentences and walk out of conversations 1-2 minutes in.

Another problem is dependence. You depend on working out with caffeine for a kick. You depend on working your job with caffeine for "productivity". You depend on functioning with caffeine for "regulation". None of this is good for you. At all. I hate how young I am, and how I had to learn this the hard way. Ive been completely free from caffeine for weeks. I dont plan on looking back at the anxious, panicked state of me who pushed everyone aside. Theres healing which needs to be done for my physical and mental health. There's a nervous system which needs regulation. There's a future for me and my girlfriend waiting. Caffeine is a false sense of control. Please reach out for help before it gets too late for ANYONE.