feeling unmotivated with college

Ive been feeling uninterested and unmotivated with college for years now and i thought shifting to a different major would help but it hasnt at all. I tried getting tested for ADHD but its taking a really long time to get results and im starting to think i prolly dont have it.

When i think about my future and school, I feel sick and feel like killing myself not the expression kind but actually doing it ive been cutting for a while and tried getting deeper to make me bleed to death but been having a hard time doing it.

I stopped sh for weeks now i dont know how long actually i just stop counting cuz i might relapse anyways. I skip school today and i feel bad but i also dont care, i care about my parents tho and i dont want to a burden.

The only solution i can think of is ending it all cuz i couldnt think of a better solution. My routines are bad, I wake up late, sleep late, eat so much and then not eat at all, i barely do chores, and barely clean my room. I tried getting better but I ended up being in the spot where i was.

im a loser and i know it and im barely doing anything about it and i cant even do my shit from school.