need urgent help for a decision. i’m stuck

Hi everyone. For context I’m a 20-year-old university student and I’ve been accepted into a temporary 6-week study abroad program at a prestigious university abroad this summer. I have never been abroad, and have never been taken on a holiday, while my whole family have. I am the youngest of the family, so my excuse of never being able to go was always “school.” Yet, that never changed years after I finished school. So when my university had this opportunity to offer, I took matters into my own hands. I got a part time job, I’ve already worked for and paid tuition, booked accommodation, my flights and saved for months through work, and this has genuinely been one of my biggest dreams for years.

The problem is, when I had told my parents before doing anything that I had wanted to go? My parents reacted extremely badly when I told them. I am born Muslim, they too are all Muslim and they believe I shouldn’t travel alone as a woman unless I’m with a husband or male guardian. Those rules do not apply to a woman if the location and the method of travel of the journey are fully safe, and especially for a reason like education, it can be classed as a valid reason to go without a male guardian. I tried explaining that to them. And how it will not be me alone, how I am going with a big group of 40-50 people, with friends I already know. I even paid more for my own separate private accommodation to avoid any potential male roommates. The place would just be for me. I tried to tell myself “it’s natural. This is big news for them so it’s understandable they’re hesitant.” Until I realised it’s not hesitation at all. And they weren’t having it. At all. They really showed me their true colours. I was truly under the impression they respected me and my autonomy as usually, in my city, they never really question what I do or where I go. But now? They’ve threatened to kick me out if I go. They’re saying they are going to take away my car and sell it despite it being in my name legally, stop me from working, they had even told me they would rather me “drop out of uni” and send me away to live with my brother (who I am no longer in contact with as our relationship had reached toxic levels; I am honestly afraid of him and no longer have contact with). I know they cannot legally stop me from doing anything, and the cannot send me there without my consent as I am legally an adult, but the threats themselves for what I asked? I never imagined it would reach this point. I no longer feel safe with them.

What hurts even more is that many of my Muslim/hijabi friends have been allowed to travel, study abroad, and go on holidays alone without this level of reaction. I’ve also spent years trying to prove I’m responsible. I work, study, contribute to household bills, pay for things around the house, help with shopping, and genuinely tried to be the kind of daughter they could trust. I am not asking to move abroad. I am asking for 6 weeks for a lovely summer and to go see the world and enhance my education and my resume.

I’m not trying to rebel or abandon my family. I wanted to keep staying close to home long-term, building my career, and still having a good relationship with my parents while being trusted as an adult. But now I feel like the moment I wanted autonomy for something important to me, everything became conditional.

If I stay, I likely keep my housing/security/car and avoid immediate fallout. I do have a part-time job but I don’t have any contracted hours as I am a student. But emotionally I already feel deeply resentful and suffocated, and I don’t know if I’ll ever look at my parents the same again after what was said. Their primary concern was me being a “target” for men abroad. Their logic is flawed as that can literally happen anywhere. I had also argued “what if my own husband had assaulted me? Then what would you have done?” Their response? “At least he is your husband.” That told me everything I needed to know. The reason I had already paid for everything even without their permission is because I knew already that deep down, they would have never let me go. But I am sick and tired of me “being a girl” being the sole reason that I cannot live my life the way I wish to, even within respectful bounds. It’s a summer school for God’s sake. They had no issue with my brothers moving out for university when they were my age.

If I go, I risk instability and damaging my relationship with my family permanently. But this also feels like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that I worked incredibly hard for.

I honestly don’t know what the right decision is anymore. I have less than a day left to cancel my Airbnb for a full refund and I feel completely overwhelmed.

I’m not really looking for “just leave” or “just obey your parents” comments. I think I just need realistic advice from people who’ve dealt with strict families, cultural/religious pressure, or choosing between stability and independence.