At the age of 23, still just a 12 th graduate

I'm 23 and during these 5 years I have only prepared for neet but not honestly. There are a few reasons but I would say I'm lazy and cowardly. I don't know what I'm gonna do now. There are some family problems but the only escape is to run away from my house. But apart from mbbs nothing will make me content. Now I'm in the loop. I don't know what to do, what to expect. During those years I'm mentally exhausted. Never had anyone from the family to share that with. Tried many times to break through the loop. But in the end I'll be entangled there again. I need external help. I'm looking out for it. But this qs is running in my head all the time. I know I should have the courage to be like I want to be a doctor. But I want to really. I got to know about this subreddit a few days ago. So I thought at least I can discuss this. Cause I don't have anyone to share my thoughts with anyone. Please tell me your opinions. Thank you.