I think my dad is cheating on my mom

Using a throwaway account for obvious reasons.

To start, I’m no longer a little kid. I’m 19 years old and still live with my parents. Some stuff about my dad has been bugging me for a while and I want to find out what’s going on before I move out, which will happen pretty soon.

About a year ago, I was eavesdropping on a fight my parents were having and I could make out some words that worried me a lot. My mom said something about how my dads friend had told her my dad was considering leaving her for another woman. She also said something about seeing him at the gym with that woman and how both my dad and her had seemed very nervous when my mom went up to say hi. My dad denied everything at first but it seems they resolved the issue eventually. They often fight about my dads attitude towards my mom. About how he seems disinterested in having conversations, how he always complains about unfinished chores when my mom comes home. The best way to describe it to you is that they basically never talk on a loving level. During those fights my mom sometimes says “it’s just like back then, you just want to leave, don’t you?”. My dad would then say something along the lines of how things have changed and that their relationship (my moms and dads) is different now, stronger.

A year ago I asked my parents if it’s true he cheated, they both said no. He claims he didn’t fuck that woman and my mom agrees that since that didn’t happen he didn’t cheat. This just pisses me of.

You know, when I was a kid my dad would beat me up a lot and that experience led me down a very bad path. During Covid my mental health got so bad, I was self harming and considering suicide. I had lost all my friends and would hide in my room all day. Sometimes I still have depressive episodes but I’m much better now. My dad never gave a shit about how I felt, I don’t think he even knows how bad things were for me. During that time all he did was tell me that I looked like shit and that I was a loser. To think my dad was having fun with another bitch while his child was suffering is absolutely disgusting. My mom knew about my issues but I never told her about my dads abuse.

I’m already done with my dad, I absolutely hate him but also very pissed with my mom. At this point I think she’s just using sex to desperately try and satisfy all his “needs” so he doesn’t seek out the other bitch anymore. She’s trying everything to please him, does everything he wants, spoils him. I hate the way she just submits to him even though he’s a disgusting manwhore.

When I was very young, maybe 10, my parents had a fight about something similar. I can remember my mom crying and screaming because she’d discovered text messages between my dad and another woman. It was something about him sending her hearts but more I don’t remember. I didn’t understand back then but now I do. My hatred of him grows so much bigger every time I think about the past and realize a lot of foul thing happened.

And you know what? I think he’s still texting the woman he told my mom he “didn’t cheat with” because they didn’t have sex. He has a passcode to all his messaging apps now, that’s the most damming part in my opinion. However, his contact list is not locked and when I went through it I saw a contact saved as “badminton”. He plays it very rarely, maybe once every half year with my brother, he never said anything about playing with someone else. Today I noticed he got a notification from that number and they started texting. I tried to get a peak but could only make out the emojis my dad had sent, it was the smiling devil. I wouldn’t think much of it but my dad was being weird the whole time he was texting that number, turning his body in a way so I couldn’t see his screen.

I’m sure there’s still something going on with that woman. I thought about calling that number and seeing who would pick up on the other end but what am I supposed to do when it is that woman? I know her name so I would know for sure but what will I tell my mom? How am I supposed to confront my dad? I want my mom to leave him, he’s a horrible person but I’m scared of what I might cause. Should I try and find out?

Sorry for the long post, I had to vent a little.