I wanted to ask more questions to my dad

Im 17 and my dad died 24 days ago. I cried once just once that day. But yesterday night I don't know what I was thinking but I cried so much I don't think I've cried this much in my entire life. He was abusive he was alcoholic he didn't care about his wife he didn't care about me he didn't care about my sister but I wanted to ask him why he did that why he drank so much I wanted to ask why he beat his wife infront of his 5 year Old child i wanted to ask him how he felt when my mom me and my sister finally moved out (I was 12) because she couldn't handle the what he was doing on daily basis and lastly I wanted to ask him how he felt when he couldn't even stand up to go to toilet and my mother took his to hospital while first time talking to her in 4 years while no one from his side of the family did who he thought soo highly likely of.

He died 14 days after in the hospital bed . Doctor already told he don't have much to live on the 3 day he didn't know that though. But he wasn't even grateful for it he didn't say a single thankyou to my mother he didn't say sorry for what he did. And at last it was the alcohol that took his. I wish he lived so i could ask these questions but I guess I have to die with these questions myself.