I’m… splitting personalities is the only way I can describe it.

It’s a million times crazier than you can picture in your head… To distance myself from addict losers that will bring me down? I use my relative innocence to feign tears, get what I want, and escape.

To make my own mom still love and trust me, I act like a sad little boy so disturbed by the horrors around me. Both are true, but I have to pick one soon.

Hospital doesn’t think I’m withdrawing from alcohol? So that gives you an excuse to act shitter because you’re not puking and turning colors like how you used to be? Oh some benzos… oh yeah, that won’t work on me. I’m full of nazi super soldier serum until the next week. I’ll just eat and sleep away all of your resources like the person who died before me that could really use that bed right now.

I draw the line at what is morally wrong in my eyes, I won’t steal, physically hurt, larceny, arson? Haha… what’s left then being a pathetic loser in your car then, or lecturing lifelong tweakers how to live their own lives because you had a brief stint of sobriety?

I’m a lost cause. Or am I? The doctor said one nice thing to say about yourself this morning, and you did it without a second thought…