Lost 2 bros to SCD in 2 Yrs

I (24m) lost my brother Alex(17m) in late June 2024.

We are 5. The last 3 have sickle cell.

TODAY as i type this My other young brother Mike (17) is laying in his casket. Alex's anniversary is next month. I'm a sophomore in college. Potential breadwinner in my family. Dad passed in my 5th grade. It's now Me, my MOM, older bro and sis(last born).

My brothers died without getting anything from me. I'm supposed to be the guy all their hopes rest upon.

I'm worried for my lil sis, I don't know how my mum feels right now. Ironic how 3 days ago I was talking to her on phone and she goes "I don't know what I've done to deserve this kind of life". Same day she said Mike had signs of getting ill but he said "I feel normal. No need to do blood tests" Then he pulls the plug today.

Damn this world.