It is incredibly unfair how much leeway autistic men get to act cruelly

When I was 20 I met a 26 year old man at my job, he befriended me and we got along well, eventually we ended up dating.

He was high-functioning autistic and diagnosed, I also have high-functioning autism but I wasn’t diagnosed until a few months ago.

Our relationship was tumultuous, he had addiction issues with substances and gambling. I was really infatuated by him and knew he was autistic so I tried to be accommodating, I failed to use my better judgment and enabled him to infect my life. My dad kicked me out because he sensed that me being with this man was self destructive, I wanted to stay with him though because i was previously sheltered so it felt freeing to be in a relationship with him.

My ex was a very high achieving man. He went to a prestigious college in New York, has a great resume, worked as a runway model, he used all of these previous experiences to sell me a dream. I just got a new job as a hostess and he was still working, he promised me that he will be able to get a job to support the both of us, I put my trust into him.

None of it worked out. Within a month of me being kicked out he got evicted from his place due to not paying rent, he gambled all the money away. We began hotel hopping and taking turns paying, which slowly turned into me paying more. I asked how he isn’t able to pay when he makes significantly more than I do, it turned into an argument and he refused to explain to me what he was spending on, but it was really clear that he got back into drugs.

He eventually got fired. His job gave him accommodations for an extremely flexible schedule, even then he arrived late every single time. I would try to wake him up and he would scream at me, I would prep his clothes before he showered and he was pissed because he hated ankle socks, then we would use my car (the only vehicle available) to get him to work before I got ready in my car at some empty parking lot. It sucked.

He had no respect for me. At that point my understanding was that he had autism and I did not therefore I have to push aside my discomfort for him, I can deal with it, but he was extremely verbally abusive.

At the end of the day our relationship ended in a bang. We broke up and I was left with everything, the debt from paying for everything, the pain, everything. His wealthy parents came to rescue him, like they always do. He refused to contact them while we were homeless, but as saviors they came and got him while I lost almost everything. They called me to inquire about his addiction, after I told them everything his dad told me “*name* is autistic, he is a very high achieving capable individual, just needs a push.” That’s all they had to say.

I eventually got tested, I was diagnosed with autism. I have already been depressed the past few months, but my diagnosis deepened it. So many times, I broke down and was overstimulated, overwhelmed, on the verge of giving up, I was forced to just go deal with it because it was my problem. NOBODY EVER gave me the accommodations and grace he had, my dad instantly kicked me out after I was 5150’d, I was stuck and I just had to deal with it. It really isn’t fair and it just drives me insane.