I 34F broke up with my ex 38M after 3 years, and my daughter 6F saw him as her dad. How do I help her grieve this?

Hi everyone. I’m looking for advice from parents who may have gone through something similar.

I recently broke up with my ex fiance who was not my daughter’s biological father, but he became a father figure to her. She is 6 years old now and has known my ex since she was 3. I had been a single parent since she was 6months old. We lived together for a season, and they had a real bond. He was part of her daily life, her memories, and her sense of family..

Today she found a music box he gave her for her birthday when we were living in SE Asia. She told me, “mom, when I feel sad, just play the music box so I will remember the times when daddy and I played together.”

It broke my heart.

I’m trying to understand what is healthiest for her. Since coming back to my home country because of the breakup, she wasn't really looking for him. After a couple of months she would say "you should not fight with baba anymore" I ask her why she says that and she replies "because you dont call each other anymore" We don't talk anymore because Ive initiated no contact. And I just reassured her that we have some adult things we need to work on and that baba and I love her so much..

Part of me wonders if I should reach out to him for her sake, maybe to ask if he can show up in a clear and consistent way, like an occasional call or voice message. But another part of me worries that if he cannot be consistent, it may hurt or confuse her even more.

I don’t want to project my own grief or attachment onto her. I also don’t want to erase someone who genuinely mattered to her. I’m trying to find the balance between honoring her feelings and protecting her from more emotional confusion.

For those who have been through this:

How did you help your child grieve a father figure after a breakup?

Did you allow continued contact?

Was it better to keep the door closed completely?

What words helped your child understand the loss without making them feel abandoned?

Any advice would be deeply appreciated. I just want to handle this as gently and wisely as possible for my daughter.