Need perspective : workplace toxicity vs low confidence

I’ve been struggling with something at work and wanted to get perspective from other women.

My boss often reminds me sometimes jokingly, but repeatedly that he’s the reason I “have food on the table” and that without him, I wouldn’t have a job in this market. While it’s brushed off as humor, over time it’s started to feel uncomfortable and has chipped away at my confidence.

I’ve worked with him for 10 years across two companies, and he recently rehired me. That familiarity initially felt safe, especially with a baby on the way. But the longer I stay, the more I find myself questioning whether I’ve started to believe that my success is because of him, not my own capabilities.

What’s making me pause is that someone else I worked closely with in the past has reached out with a leadership opportunity and is incredibly enthusiastic about bringing me on. It’s a completely different message, one that makes me feel valued and reminds me that I might be underestimating my worth.

At the same time, with a baby coming, the idea of stepping away from something “safe” from job security standpoint feels even more daunting.

I guess I’m trying to figure out: how do you balance psychological safety vs. knowing your worth? And how do you navigate that when there are real constraints involved?

Would really appreciate any words of wisdom as I battle this situation internally.