My bf wants to quit, but I need to know how to genuinely support him through this

Hey r/QuittingWeed community,

I’ve been reading through your posts trying to understand what my boyfriend is going through, and I’m hoping to get some advice from people who have been in his shoes.

**My perspective:**

I’ve had periods in the past where I smoked heavily, but it was always just a social thing with friends for me. I never developed a dependency and could drop it whenever. However, seeing the absolute grip weed has on my boyfriend, and watching what it does to his potential, has honestly made me disgusted by it. Because my brain doesn't react to it the same way, I really struggle to fully understand the depth of his addiction. That's why I need your help.

**His background:**

He has been a daily smoker for years, long before we met. It has severely impacted his life—derailing past academic opportunities and causing him to go through some really dark/tough times. He is currently studying a very demanding, project-based creative major, which adds a ton of stress to his life.

One of the biggest hurdles is that he genuinely believes the lie: *"I am a more bearable/likeable person when I’m high."* When he goes without smoking or tries to quit, the withdrawals hit him hard. He becomes incredibly cranky and irritable, often saying hurtful things he doesn't actually mean and acting in ways he genuinely regrets later. Because he’s a highly sensitive guy and knows he gets like this, his coping mechanism is to completely push me away and isolate himself so he doesn't end up taking his anger out on me.

**The current situation:**

He’s had a persistent sore throat for over a month now. Yesterday, he finally said, *"Maybe I’ll try quitting tomorrow."* I know this is a huge step for him to even say out loud, and I want to be ready. We are currently long-distance, but I am visiting him in a few days.

**My questions for you guys:**

**The Isolation:** How do I support him when he pushes me away? I want to give him space so he doesn't feel pressured, but I also want him to know I’m in his corner unconditionally. How do I handle it when he gets grumpy and says things he doesn't mean?

**The Partner's Role:** What were the things your partners did (or didn't do) that actually helped you? What are the "hard truths" I need to prepare myself for?

**General Advice:** What is something you wish someone had told you before you started your day 1?

I love this guy so much and just want to see him free from this. Any advice, harsh truths, or personal experiences would mean the world to me. Thank you!