Time for some raw big didi advice.

In an ideal world, love is love, and racial, religious, cultural, caste, and ethnic differences wouldn’t matter. But we don’t live in an ideal world. In the real world, they do matter , always, to varying extents. Life is not a Bollywood movie, and the world is not Disneyland.

If you are planning to marry a man of a different religion, you need to have a serious discussion about these things:

* Whether he expects you to convert to his religion

* Whether you’ll be expected to take part in religious practices you disagree with

* How your kids will be raised and what religious practices they will take part in

* Drawing proper boundaries so that in-laws (on either side) don’t brainwash the kids against other religions

Let’s discuss the second and third points in detail. Most Indian women are Hindu, so this post is written from that perspective.

The issue of raising kids

* If you marry a Muslim or Jewish guy, are you comfortable with him wanting to circumcise your infant son?

* If you marry a Muslim guy, are you comfortable with your daughter or yourself being asked or pressured to wear a hijab at family functions or in public?

* If you marry a Christian guy, are you comfortable with your kids being baptized?

* If you marry a Sikh guy, are you comfortable with your kids growing their hair long and wearing turbans?

* If you marry someone from an Abrahamic religion (Muslim, Christian, or Jewish), are you comfortable with your kids being taught that LGBT identities are sinful?

* What if your in-laws do not approve of your kids taking part in your religious festivals or practices - for example, having a *mundan ceremony* or participating in a puja?

* What if your in-laws actively try to brainwash your kids against your religion?

If you are an Indian woman who is not Hindu but is planning to marry a Hindu man, how would you feel about your kids being expected to take part in Hindu practices or rituals that you may find problematic?

The best way interfaith marriages can work is when both parties are only loosely religious and there is minimal involvement from parents on both sides.

Indian parents being against interfaith marriages does not always come from a place of delusion. Often, it comes from concerns about long-term compatibility.

To be very clear, I am totally against Indian parents threatening, abusing, or honour-killing their kids over interfaith relationships. Love is love between two consenting adults.

Always remember: Life is not a Bollywood movie and the world is not a Disneyland.

I am Gujarati and ny fiance is Telugu. Our marriage will be inter-ethnic and inter-caste but not inter-faith.