Is this friendship unhealthy, or are we both just bad at communication?

I (F22) recently graduated and may be leaving my local community soon for a job that requires a 2-year service assignment elsewhere in the country. Because of that, I’ve been preparing to step away from my positions and say goodbye to friends.

One of my close friends (F22) and I have known each other for 4 years. We’ve always been close, but she tends to withdraw during conflicts or mood swings — sometimes not speaking for days before acting normal again. Usually we just reconnect naturally afterward.

Our latest issue happened on her birthday. I attended her celebration with friends, and during the night she mentioned her family didn’t really care about her birthday. Later, my mom happened to talk to her mom and mentioned that I got home late from the party. Her mom apparently didn’t know about the celebration and had prepared something at home for her, so she became upset with my friend.

Since then, my friend completely stopped replying to me. I gave her space at first, but she also owed me a small amount of money from the party that I genuinely needed at the time for graduation fees, and she ignored every message I sent about it for weeks.

Today, she finally replied after I dropped something off at her house that I’d been holding onto because she wouldn’t answer me. During our conversation, I mentioned my possible departure/job assignment, and she asked for a proper explanation.

Now my mom is upset that I’m talking to her again. She thinks this friend manipulates me because I’m always the one reaching out after conflicts, while she ignores me for long periods without apologizing or communicating.

I’m conflicted because I still care about her and value our friendship, but I also feel hurt by how easily she cuts me off. My mom thinks that I should not give her an explanation and just demand the money, since we kind of really need it. Does this sound like an unhealthy friendship dynamic? And if so, should I still try to explain myself and preserve the friendship, or should I focus on getting the money back and distancing myself?