I'm getting the ending thoughts YALLL

Man idk if I even wanna post this because I already know some people are gonna leave stupid comments without understanding cultural differences at all

First of all, I’m not from the USA. I don’t have “just move out,” shelter options, food banks, or easy access to random retail/waitress jobs everywhere

Where I live it’s basically:

Either you have a job or you’re poor. That’s it.

And in my culture it’s very common for women to stay with family until marriage. Even if a woman CAN move out alone, people make it extremely difficult socially and mentally

So when I vent about living with family and people reply with “you’re lucky, I wish I lived with my parents” I genuinely wanna scream

Then why don’t you???

This is not a blessing for me. This is my curse right now

I’m 28. I WANT my own life. I wanna wake up peacefully. I wanna figure out my rebrand journey and build my business properly without hearing negativity every single day

My mother especially has always been extremely negative towards me. I’m the youngest out of 4 siblings and I noticed since childhood I’m treated differently

This woman barely ever says anything positive to me

It’s always:

“You’re poor.”

“You’re ugly.”

“You’re fat.”

“You look helpless.”

“People feel depressed talking to you.”

And the worst part is when you already have depression or low self worth, eventually their voice starts becoming your inner voice too

I try telling her:

“I have a plan.”

“I’m working on things.”

“Please just give me space if you can’t encourage me.”

But she genuinely cannot understand it

I feel EXTREMELY lonely. Yeah I have friends but realistically they can’t save me either. They’re women too dealing with their own lives and struggles

Nobody can magically rescue me from this house

And being broke makes EVERYTHING worse. If I had money I swear half my mental problems would calm down immediately because at least I could leave and breathe

People love acting like money doesn’t matter. Meanwhile money literally buys safety, peace, privacy, freedom, therapy, options

I’ve even started getting thoughts about ending my life sometimes. I’m not acting on them, but the thoughts come heavy when you wake up everyday feeling trapped in negativity and hopelessness

Then Reddit makes it worse sometimes too honestly

I posted my business website asking for feedback because I genuinely wanted opinions. A bunch of people basically said they’d never hire me or work with me

I know strangers online shouldn’t matter but damn… when your own mother already spent your whole life making you feel worthless, even small criticism hits like a truck

Sometimes I genuinely sit there wondering:

What if she’s right about me?

What if I really am just a loser?

I hate thinking like this but I’m tired man

I’m just so tired of feeling stuck