Her accusing me of narcissism helped me realize what she is.

On April 1st I was given the push I need to leave. On April 2nd I did. But I didn’t truly know what she was until I did. The accusations started. Narcissist. What, me??? I have too much empathy! It causes problems! But then I started reading up and it all made sense. All of it is her. The deep, deep insecurity, to the point of taking direct credit for my professional success. The complete inability to admit fault or apologize (while saying she does!). The deep need for control that even my 13 year old son recognized. And of course turning her bad behavior into mirrored accusations against me, even accusations of mental and sexual abuse that literally do not make sense. Complete inability to understand my point of view. And *intense* gaslighting around an affair I have overwhelming evidence that she is having. The crazy thing is, I think she really believes it. She couldn’t know I could find her search history, which is full of stuff like “what if your narcissist spouse refuses to move out.” No chance that was going to happen! I’ve been married to a narcissist for 26 years and I didn’t even know it until now.