does anyone else feel shameful about still being in the closet?

I’m 25F and out to everyone in my life except my family. I had a 2.5 year relationship with another woman, my first love, that ended horribly (which was my fault😔) and dealing with the breakup without any familial support has been some of the worst pain I’ve ever been through.

I have one parent that I don’t live with and came out to them while I was dating my ex but they essentially told me it was a phase and then outed me to my most homophobic sibling. After that, they all essentially acted like my relationship didn’t exist and like I never said anything.

They care so much about me and call to check in on me because I’ve lost weight and have not been well. I talk to them like things are normal and do favours for them and basically just act like things are normal when in reality, I know they don’t accept me for who I am.

I need to move out of the house before I can come out more freely but financially that’s not feasible for me yet. I just keep acting normal and my shame and resentment grow every day. I’m so exhausted.