Something kind of tmi about masturbation, idk if it’s normal

22f, for anyone wondering! Once again, very tmi discussion, any creeps will be blocked and you should be on a watchlist!

But, this has always been something I’ve been kind of embarrassed about. I’ve never really talked to anyone about it because I think it’s odd myself, and I don’t even know how I’d begin to explain it. As I’m writing it now, I don’t know how to.

I discovered masturbation at an incredibly young age. Like really young, I won’t disclose how young because as mentioned above, creeps! But it kind of affected the way I’ve been able to orgasm all my life. I have to lay on my stomach as im doing the deed, and the pressure of my bodyweight helps?? I’m also not touching my clit directly but slightly above it. And i cant orgasm any way other than that now. And sometimes it makes me feel broken, because it’s so weird. Because nobody I know orgasms like that, and every time I’m with a partner, i fake it because I don’t know how to explain the way I like it and i know that it would take them too long to be able to get me close enough. And it’s not that the “traditional” way doesnt feel good, it does, but it can’t make me finish. And it’s not just them, I can’t do it either. Even if I use a vibrator, I can’t ever cum. At least if I can, I never do it long enough. I’m not sure if I’ve fucked up some nerves or something or if my clit’s just too sensitive and i stop just beforehand.

And obviously, my preferred place of questioning would not be reddit, but idek who to talk to about it.

Is this at all relatable for someone out there or am i just an oddity?

Sorry, i know its tmi, tried my best to not make it sound like a porn shitpost.