I want to be a stepping stone for my ex DA's emotional healing

For ex avoidants here, was there a turning point in your life like kindness makes you reflect and decide to be a changed person? What's your story? What made you change?

I thought I was secure but I fell in love DA ex BF. We are on LDR and we are both in IT field. I was hooked due to love bombing and care which I dont really entertain in the past lol. He keeps me updated to whatever he's doing without me asking, I appreciate him on that. I believe Im just being like a caring gf but playful at times, and I dont request any that may pressure him other than movie nights with him. Anyways, He broke up with me 4 days ago saying he tried but "his demons won", Im a wifey material, Im too much for him, and he's out. He deleted all his messenger message, Telegram, and whatsApp chat the next day.

I was anxious for the past 2 weeks when his DA tendencies showed up as I have no idea what's happening on his mind other than he is so stressed on work after socialization and after reading intense soul crushing manga. He's emotional too like he doesn't fit anywhere. Now, I learned about attachment styles because of what I experienced on him.

After reading some posts and comments here, I feel intense empathy towards such people to the point I broke up crying like what had they experienced to be this cold? Why are they scared to people who are nice and or loved them dearly, unconditionally? It pains me. I want to hug him and share his suppressed pain, but I know I cannot.

Im okay that we broke up, I have no hopes of having romantic relationship with him again nor reaching out again since people said just give them space they need.The last thing I said is that we're good, I dont hate him, Im okay if he needs a friend or even a stranger to talk to, and wish him happiness. I hope and pray for his happiness on his next relationship.

However, I want to know how to reply when he reaches out soon. My goal is to open genuine friendship without romantic emotions, I want to be at least a stepping stone for his self awareness that will lead to healing. Only them can get out of their own opened prison.

Should I really reply apathetically until he feels safe to let his guard down? Warmth for sure will scare him. What messages would make him feel safe?