Prayer Request for myself

I was getting cancer treatments this year, I died and had an NDE. Now I’m suffering financially, I don’t even know what to do, just a car no home. I was starting to pick back up before I was diagnosed, then I lost it all. I spent 4 months in the hospital. I was resuscitated and had to be on life support at one point.

I’m asking for prayers to just hold on. A huge part of me wants to go back to that experience that I had with NDE but I have a son. I’ve been depressed since I came back to life. I have nothing on this earth left, my happiness is completely gone. I prayed everyday, I’m living in a car with no cash left. I’ve been looking for work everyday. I don’t know what God wants me to do here or even why I’m back. I asked for answers everyday and looked for work. Why am I here? Why couldn’t I stay in paradise? It was so much nicer there. Now I’m back, I don’t drink or ever did drugs. Why did he bring me here? I’m trying to understand. I was a good person, I pray, I let you be on the drivers seat and went as days go on. Yet I come back down all the time.