dropper ban gya. pls enlighten me

see jan attempt me 57%ile aayi thi, april me 82%ile aayi. 2 saal allen me tha, padhai likhai idk kya ki pata nhi. jaata tha, dosto se milke, class me jo thodi padhai hui so huia, ghar aajata tha. problem practice to nil thi bilkul. jhooth nhi bolunga, but I genuinely wasted my 11th and 12th poore tareeke se. ab papa kahi try kr rhe hai ki kisi tier 2 type college me hojaye. mere ko bhi idk man me kya aarha hai pta nhi. kabhi dimaag me aata hai ki college jaake mehnat karunga GATE dunga aur idk kya kya. mummy ko jyda pta hai nhi, wo bol thi hai drop lele. mai fully invested bhi hu drop ke liye, but baat ye hai I'm very undecisive. drop bhi lene ka man hai, ye bhi lag rha hai ki college me kar lunga. mujhe samajh nhi aa rha what should I do.