Terrible feeling of being left behind

Well, it's often talked about how lonely gen Z is and how difficult it is for the new generation to get friends or find a romantic partner. You may think you have it bad. But I dare say that for me it is worse. I was born in the 80s, and most people from my generation have kids and families. Or they are divorced. And here I am, completely alone, without anyone caring about me, or anyone to care for. All my old friends now have families, or they are even divorced with kids.

I feel so abandoned by the world. People talk about how bad divorces are, but I'm jealous of the guys who even have had divorces. They have at least experienced marriage and family life. They at least have children that they love and care for.

I mean, I've had relationships in the past that failed for various reasons. Some failed because it was their fault, some failed because I fucked up. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal by any means, but I just don't know what the meaning is anymore. Sitting alone in cafes and restaurants, seeing all the couples tears at the fabric of my soul.

I myself know that couples are not happy by any means, god knows I myself have been in relationships, but fuck, I rather be in a dysfunctional marriage any day over this oppressive crippling loneliness. Hell I'll even be a divorcee. Everything feels hopeless and I feel like I'm living in a spiritual black hole. I feel like my social caste is lower than the dirt under people's shoes. I have no friends left, they've all passed me by. I just wanna go far away somewhere

Sorry for this incoherent rant. English isn't my mother tongue. If I offended anyone, then it wasn't intentional