Should we be responsible for family?

So my partner and i eventually plan to get married in a city we live in and met in. The thing is neither of us are from said city, or even country we live in. My family is from a neighbouring country with my hometown being about 4h drive away, but the country is significantly poorer than where we live. Think we live in EU, they don't. My husbands family is much better off and are from a western country. This said, almost all of my family members are at least middle class if not upper, and, with the exception of 2 couples, go on vacations at least once or twice per year. The couples have children and siblings that are better off too.

Now, when i told my mom we will get married where we live she said none of my familly will come because they would need hotels and insinuated that if i want my fam there i need to pay for it. This includes aunts, uncles, cousins etc - so 30ish people at least (possibly even more, as i suspect more will try to jump on the ship if they find out we're paying). My partners family has never asked us to help with that - they always plan and save in advance before they come visit us and plan to do the same for the wedding. Also keep in mind thst a visit for my family is a couple hundered €, and for his it's a couple thousand.

Now i told my mom the wedding will be announced at least a year in advance so everyone can plan and save up in time, but she still thinks it's up to us to finance it all or get married in my hometown. We do not have the money to pay for all of them, but also don't want to get married in my hometown as it's difficult for his family and all our friends to get to, i have bad memories connected to the place, it's a massive nightmare with paperwork as we don't live in the country and will have to redo all the paperwork in the country we live in anyways and also on a more emotional level - we as a couple share no connection to the place, while here is where we met, fell in love, had a baby and plan to live for a while.

What should we do?