Friendship connecting problems

Ok so I’ve noticed a problem with all my friendships ever since I was in second grade. I can’t exactly talk to my friends about it because it’s something concerning them.

I’ve seen people around me make genuine connections with their friends. Can’t live without each other and stuff like that. But with my friends (any friend up to date) I haven’t felt anything like it. On our last day of schools, I’ve seen my friends cry and say “I’ll miss you” and “keep in touch” but I didn’t feel the same. Does that make me a horrible friend? I do care about my friends. I check up on them but it isn’t necessarily because I want to. Sometimes I have to force myself to do it for the sake of my social life.

Even with my best friend it’s like that. I’ve seen her likes on “best friend” posts and things like that. Like she would mourn our friendship if it ended. And again why don’t I feel the same? I’ve told myself that one day I’ll find a friend whom I would never want to leave but when? I have countless friends and I don’t feel a deep bond with any of them. And after so many friends, you start thinking maybe the problem is with your own self but how do I fix it? I don’t think a fake it till you make it is going to work.