School Says ADHD, Doctor Says No!?

My 8 year old daughter is extremely bright, yet she’s struggling in school. I believe she’s twice exceptional…reading at a high school level, clearly gifted in art and even foreign languages, yet falling behind in math. I have ASD, and my younger kid also has AuDHD. I believe we have some dysalculia in the family, although it wasn’t as well-known when my mom and I were kids!

I had concerns about ADHD years ago, and doctors dismissed it…she was somewhat impulsive and hyperactive, even getting physical, but now she’s doing pretty well at home. I do have to give her several reminders about cleaning her room, but I thought that was age appropriate…maybe not.

Her teachers had some similar concerns over the years, so last year they submitted the Vineland assessments, and I also did one myself. The pediatrician said she has to be struggling in “multiple settings” for an ADHD diagnosis? But obviously the demands are much lower at home…

I didn’t receive any updates until our recent conference…her teachers were kind, but they said she’s unorganized, unfocused, losing items, etc etc. The principal was quite openly rude, especially when I mentioned we have other 2E family members…she basically said I was “projecting” and holding her back!

We’re a single parent household, so I’m just feeling so unsupported and judged here… I have no problem with a diagnosis, but the doctors aren’t taking this seriously. I’m taking her to a mental health center for a second opinion, and I really hope we can get some answers. I also reached out to the school district. She’s not in a public school, but they do have many kids with ASD, so I would hope they are willing to accommodate her.

Thank you for reading!