TRE, shaking and being stuck

Hi gang,
I am a 38 year old man and lost my brother due to a tragic accident when I was 11. I still remember the moment of shock and how all energy from my limbs and head was sucked into my core.

Throughout the years I did a lot of work (therapy, psychedelics, alternative approaches, yoga, meditation, breathwork, bodywork, cranio, tcm, you name it) and was able to process a lot of grief and other emotions, yet the body still keeps the score…

Ten years ago a healer did a session with me and asked: do you still keep your brother alive within you? This caused a miraculous eruption, I had tunnel vision, buzzing ears, sweating, and chills throughout my body… like a peak experience..

Fast forward today, my chest still feels tight and numb, I still feel somewhat dissociated, yet emotionally very balanced and able to experience the whole spectrum and all shades of colour that come with it.

When I do TRE laying on the floor, I automatically start to shake and can move the epicenter of shaking from my feet upto my legs and into the chest, i do it regularly yet I don‘t really feel much change in my core or my feeling of dissociation.

Now I still feel very much broken in my core and in the depth of my being - my biggest wish is too melt that gutwrenching knot and lift the comfy veil around my head, I had glimpses of a melting core, finally breathing right and also feeling „really“ real in my perception.

I am not looking for explanations or theories, I also know that further talking about it - given my intellectual nature - won‘t help. I am just curious and looking for inspiration on how to attend this knot, on whether to continue „shaking it off one gram at a time“ or whether there are other ways to get back into balance.. I just deeply feel how exhausted I am and how much energy this constriction burns..

For any pointers and thoughts I‘d be grateful!