How do you deal with such helpless situations?

If I have to describe it in detail , then it may take days because this is how my life has been till now.I am a 20M from India and I have never had that happy family experience. My father had always been more negative and dominant and abusive towards my mother and me.He has always humiliated and criticized us and our opinions and especially he does this to mother when i am not there. Like right now i am in college first year and today my mother was asking to learn to make cakes so that she can have a skill of her own and also generate some revenue as she gets no pocket money from dad.And my dad openly challenged her saying she never can. my dad never understands my pov and always controls me..like even in college he cares all about is my cgpa and despite me getting a 9.8 cgpa in first sem , he doesnt listen to my needs like my wish to go to some trip with my friends...i feel like i am missing out on a lot...and u know i have always listened to my mother and heard her out but at times i just get angry and sad and feel helpless listening to her and get rude towards her...me and my mom are very close because we had been together for since everything but i just feel tired because i cant do anything about it and i didnt ask for such marriage..and also i just feel lonely and seek for attention and love outside my home as i dont feel much...the point is people dont find me interesting much as i reallt never have enjoyed myself due to these situations..but ofc i cant go around explaining myself all the time....all i have are the bad experiences i had piled up in me since childhood