I don’t think it’s possible to be freed of suicidal ideation if you developed it in your childhood

It all doesn’t matter. No matter what life brings me, I have to commit suicide. Suicide is the only thing that’s been a constant in my life. Sad? Suicide. Happy? Suicide. Struggling? Suicide. It all circles back to suicide. It’s so deeply ingrained in me, I don’t think it will ever go away. It’s like suicide has become my destiny. It’s not a matter of if it’s a matter of when.