Hi, I’m Mae, a 25 year old woman and I’ve noticed something strange in my friendships with men. Whenever I try to be friends with a male friend, everything starts off normal—he’s polite and friendly—but after a while, the tone changes. Instead of normal conversation, I start getting comments that feel belittling or backhanded. For example, he might randomly point out something about my appearance in a sarcastic way, compare me to my sister in a way that feels like a subtle competition, or make remarks about my height or body that were never part of the conversation. It’s usually framed as a “joke,” but it doesn’t feel playful—it feels like I’m being put down. What confuses me even more is that if I don’t laugh it off and instead respond seriously or set a boundary, some of them suddenly distance themselves or remove me from their social media entirely. I don’t experience this with my female friends, and it seems to happen out of nowhere. Has anyone else experienced something like this? Why do some male friendships shift in this direction?

TL;DR: My male friendships often start friendly but later turn into sarcastic or belittling comments about my appearance. If I set boundaries, they sometimes cut me off. Has anyone else experienced this