[1548] Discordant, New Ch. 1

Hello all,
 
Per the feedback I got last time, I’ve written a brand-new chapter 1 to ensure my inciting incident chapters doesn’t feel “rushed” or “unearned.” I’d appreciate any feedback that could be provided.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/14P1M_WzBBnZXfjeUg3EWAalzh1Si7xJc/edit?usp=drivesdk&ouid=100836483631520518154&rtpof=true&sd=true

 
Genre: New Adult, Dark Fantasy
 
Goals for this draft:
 

1. Provide the reader with the minimum necessary world-building/backstory elements and protagonist interiority so that the reader better understands the stakes.

2. Dial-back uninteresting/unnecessary world-building lines

3. Increase character interiority

4. Improve dialogue lines

5. Make prism intro less “matter of fact”

 
For mods: 

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/s/IHo9p14dUR

P.S. posting this from my phone—sorry for any wonkiness. :)