I'm getting tired

I dunno why I'm here, just to vent I guess

I'm starting to get tired of it all and that forever sleep is starting to sound more appealing

So abit if back story, abit longer than a year ago I lost my Mum to cancer, it's been hard on us (me my dad and my brother) a couple months before my Mum passed we lost my Grandad, so in the space of 4 or 5 months my entire family, friends, everyone has dropped me and my Dad like a bad habit, Including my brother, now the rest of the family for all I care can go kick rocks, but since my Mum passed, I feel like my brother died too, I don't live local to Dad, but I make a point of not leaving him alone, my brother who lives 2 minutes down the street in a car or a ten minute walk away yet I'm present more, I put the effort in, I call and visit as often as I can (which isn't as much as I want) but the calls to my brother are ignored, the texts left on read, he even appears offline on xbox, I know this because my niece has told me he does, but thats besides the point.

It's been similar with so called "friends" too, I got a few messages from friends when my Mum passed, the typical "If you need call or message" And I did.....where was they? Too busy, nope, how I know, their partners have reached out for me to reach out, I do and get blocked (waiting to let that one slip) because that friends partner doesn't realise how much I know because I ACTUALLY LISTEN!!! I'm getting side tracked, back to the point

So yeah I'm just tired of being the "Problem solver" for everyone when I can't even solve my own problems, I'm tried of only being wanted when I'm of use, the only person that I feel legitimately cares for and appreciates me is my Dad, and I don't know how much longer I've got left with him, and I'm scared of the thought of losing him, because when I do, I know I'll be truly alone, I don't have a brother anymore, no one answers when I need help....I'm lonely, and I'm tired

To anyone that does read this, thank you for taking the time to read the rambles of nobodies favourite person, I just nice to be seen and heard I guess