loneliness

sometimes i genuinely don’t think i understand how people (friends) ghost you for weeks-months like never respond to you or check on you. maybe i’m just not being mindful and am being selfish, i know people have life’s and get busy or sometimes are going through a tough time but when it comes to best friends/friends its sometimes very hard for me to understand especially when it feels like they are neglecting your friendship and pushing you away. honestly i’ve been feeling lonelier than ever, my closest friend has basically ghosted me for months now. i’ve communicated to her that i felt hurt and it felt like she didn’t acknowledge that at all and it disappointed me so much. i’ve decided ever since that to just not try anymore and let her be. i think one day she will reach out again but im exhausted from all of it. she was the only one i truly talked to besides my bf. besides that all these other “friends” do the same thing and will converse with me and then never respond. its horrible feeling like something is wrong with you or like you’re boring and just unworthy because you don’t have friends and feel extremely lonely. idk i do think my expectations and standards are too high at times and i try my best to understand every situation but its so isolating and depressing to not have anyone ik i always have my bf and some family lol but its a different feeling when you don’t have any girl friends yk? a big reason i could be feeling like this is because i dont have anything going on for me right now. ive been unemployed for months due to health reasons and haven’t rlly gone out in months.