How to start training chess calculation?

Hello chess brothers and sisters,

I’m an adult improver ~1400 USCF, and have been playing classical OTB consistently for the past 2 years or so. Like everyone, I have my good days and my bad days. I‘be been right at the cusp of breaking a plateau for a while now. I’m regularly outplaying others way above my rating, getting great positions against 1800s and even a 2000 occasionally. I’ve had some good draws against these strong players, and some wins. There are bad days where I hit my hard against the wall because one move turned my win into a draw against an 1100 or an unrated. it happens.

My Lichess puzzle rating swings between 2100-2300 depending on how hard I’m trying.

Working with my coach, we’ve decided that my weakest point is my calculation. I play well in the opening, my endgames are sufficient for my level/games, I even usually find the good ideas/plans in the middlegame. But calculating is so hard.

It’s not visualization, I can see plenty of moves ahead, create stepping stones, and keep going. I can play blindfold games to ~25 moves deep without major blunders.

I’ve read some of Soltis’ “The Inner Game of Chess” and his ideas about the tree of analysis, I’ve read “How to train your calculation“ by Ramesh. I understand that the next step is building up a systemic process to identify and analyze candidates.

My problem is… it’s so HARD!!! I look at a position and start to try to keep track of everything, and it seems so overwhelming, and I honestly end up abandoning these exercises I know will help me to do some puzzles because I know it will be easier…

Does anyone have/had this same problem, or suggestions on how to make improving the skills easier or more approachable?

(I’m also bipolar and probably ADHD too, so if you’re in either of those boats too, lmk)