Nakakapagod. Sobra

I can't make my mind, but I think, I have to make a sacrifice. I am currently reviewing for boards, I have full-time work, and I don't think I enjoy it so much. Workmates ko magkakilala na for a long time, and the age gap is huge! So most of the time, I don't feel like I belong, dagdag pa the fact that we have language barrier, I'm not fluent with their dialect and araw araw akong nagttry. Mababa sahod, sobrang baba, to a point na walang natitira for myself. Work is compressed from 8 AM to 7 PM, and I cant adjust my time sa pagsstudy for the boards kasi pagod na ako. Tried seeking for help pero I can't afford doing it consistently kahit I was suggested to do so. I'm so fucking tired. Alam ko madaming mas heavy pa ang nararamdaman ng iba dito, but I swear I need fucking help and I dont know na what to do.

Hindi ko nga alam anong problema saakin eh? Papasok ako ng work na sobrang bigat ng nararamdaman, minsan nasa tapat pa lang ng building pero sobrang nginig ko na. Pag nasa labas, bigla nalang bumibilis yung heartbeat ko and I'm shaking. I'm having thoughts of exiting myself kasi feeling ko pabigat na ako sa lahat ng tao around me.

Feeling ko behind na ako sa review ko. Yung mga kasama ko sa review center well-focused. Ako? Walang maintindihan. Worried for the next day. Worried for the future.

If I sacrifice work, wala akong mapagkukuhanan ng pera, ayaw ko mangutang, hindi ko ugali. Tsaka what's my assurance na there's a better opportunity for me after boards, am I just gonna be stuck sa bahay while looking for job? Ayaw kong maging pabigat! If I work while reviewing, I cant juggle both kasi sobrang needy ng work, should I just take the boards next year? I don't know.

What's wrong with me? What else do I need? Ano ba pwede kong gawin? Ano ba ang dapat kong gawkn?

Pagod na ako, tangina, pahinging tulong. Please. PLEASE.