I'm getting sick of not having anyone to talk to

I don't have any friends and I don't know how to make them. I haven't had one in three years. I stopped talking to the one friend I had just because I stopped wanting to. I know it sounds bad but I guess I just don't really do stuff I don't want to do. I just stopped liking him I guess. I haven't missed him at all and I'm not sure why I liked him to begin with. I've tried to make friends but honestly conversation is just too difficult to be enjoyable. I know you're supposed to struggle through the hard part so that you can actually know someone but it's just way too hard for me. It's too stressful. Why would I bother putting in all that effort and worrying and crying when I can just not? But I'm really sick of it. I don't have anyone to talk to about anything at all. It's so tiring but I've given up on fixing it. It causes more pain to try to make friends than it does to just do nothing. Conversation doesn't come naturally to me at all. I feel like I have something seriously wrong with me that alienates me from everyone else. I can tell that I'm different from everyone else and I mean this in a completely negative way. I think I'm probably autistic and I might have AVPD or something. I don't know why this is. There's not really any reason why I should be like this. And I've had severe anxiety for no reason for around five years now. It's much better now though. But it started at complete random. It genuinely just started one day and didn't stop. I don't get how things like this can just happen. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do about any of this and I'm getting tired of talking about any of my issues. Venting barely helps and it's usually makes me feel worse than if I did nothing. I'm not sure that there's any solution to this.