Do other autistic people feel like horrible disgusting people for not masking well

It just. Sucks so bad. Even other autistic people can't fucking stand people who don't or can't mask. I just never learned how! I don't have the ability to! I PROMISE I would learn how to follow every single fucking social norm to an absolute T if there was any way I could possibly do that! And! I! Can't! I would be normal if I could! I can't! I just can't!

And idk. I just want to know that I'm not the only one who can't mask well or at all. It feels like spaces for autistic people who aren't cis men are full of just people who mask well, and I feel like the only one who's sitting here in a ball of shame because I completely understand why people hate that I can't be normal.