Am I just coping and making excuses?

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I've stayed up all night doing nothing but contemplate everything. I've hit a breaking point now and could probably do something stupid in the heat of the moment. Maybe it's due to the lack of sleep and my issues are just not that deep.

Starting off, I'm really feeling insecure. My friends make fun of me every damn time and in recent times, I feel it has been overdone. They just make fun of me for everything. I used to do some stage comedy, they call me the unfunniest person ever, they say the club I'm in lacks quality, that it is the worst ever. They pick on me for my unconventional choice for a college major- saying it was the dumbest decision I could make. They say it's all fun and jokes and we do it for everyone but I'm feeling like a talentless hack rn with a mediocre future ahead.

Oh and the club- it really is fucked rn. I'm really anxious about my future in here. Feeling like stuck in here.

I'm destroying all my connections. I've been getting into verbal fights with my friends because of their jokes. I was planning to go out on a trip with my cousins but my parents wouldn't let me go and i can't even dare to say no to my cousins now. Hurt a friend, made her cry. I apologised and all is supposedly good now but it still haunts me. All my past friends, they're busy with their own lives, those connections are deserted. I'm just here alone all day nowadays, nowhere to go out.

I've been going to the gym for a year to put on some muscles but I've only lost weight. There are no results yet. This is also demotivating me so bad. Literally in the malnourished category despite even putting in the efforts. Even if I do achieve optimal results, some of my undesirable features couldn't be gotten rid of. I wish I could've done something about that.

My grades are kinda bad. Also something I get made fun of. Well fine I didn't put in the efforts throughout, i accept that. But even after a grueling semester my work hasn't yet ended because I have to work on a few projects but I'm not getting shit done. Tried another thing, couldn't get shit done even there and they moved on from me. Seems like another door closed.

There are some positives tho. I'm earning decent money in a part time gig and could finally afford everything I've ever wanted to by myself. I'm in love with this girl and things are going well in this relationship so far. Tried talking to her about all my problems but I'm still not doing well. Want to just talk to a therapist or a friend that can understand everything.