please respond i need to feel some hope

i don’t wanna get too into it but some background: he wasn’t even my bf, he was some guy i met online who i had been talking to for 1.5 years. the relationship was extremely toxic. we brought out the worst in each other. he blocked me on everything after a bad fight. it’s been 7 weeks. i was okay for 5 but it suddenly hit me all over again this week.

it feels terrible. has anyone ever gotten thru something like this and ever forgotten about them. i feel like i wont ever feel so deeply for anyone else ever again. i dont think ill find love and that terrifies me because he understood me so well and made me feel so alive.