I’m just feeling lonely and don’t have anyone who would listen without me holding back. I went to an intimate gig a month ago, was meant to be a duo acoustic but the 1 was ill so was just the 1 man. Lots of eye contact, I was front by the barrier, he kept spinning his chair to face me and looking in my eyes as he sang. I’d booked   
to see him as a solo acoustic 2 weeks later, just him. Was a tiny venue, only sold 25 tickets, should have been double that, I don’t know why it didn’t sell out, all of his other dates have, I was sat right infront of him.  He didn’t make much eye contact when he sang, but he had a bright light in his eyes, so he sang with them shut most of the time. When he chatted he chatted to me lots, joked about, kept apologising for waffling on, seemed awkward, laughing & joking lots, said this is why he can’t find a wife. Looking at socials he does have a girlfriend though and he’d commented how beautiful she was 2 days ago on her last photo, I also think they have matching rings on their right hands. They’ve both got them on in photos this year. She only appeared on his socials sept last year, so I thought maybe she wasn’t around because neither had commented on the others pictures for a month, but I saw he’d commented on her latest picture 2 days ago saying she was so beautiful. I know nothing was really going to happen, why would he want me, nobody else has for 6 years, but made me smile thinking he was looking at me. As I left the gig last week, I went solo to see him, I go solo to most gigs these days, I shook his hand, he gave me a kiss on the cheek, I wasn’t expecting that, I didn’t notice if he did with other women, most there were men and I left before the others.   
It’s just depressing. It was exciting thinking I had someone interested, even if they wouldn’t act on anything, and now I don’t again. I’m not due to see their band until august. They could be engaged by then. Do I keep posting on his groups socials, I know he sees them, he liked on of my pictures the other day or do I delete them and stop dreaming of a singer. I keep seeing all these posts popping up saying life’s short, tell them how you feel & I think maybe I should, but I don’t want him to see me at a gig and think I’m that weirdo. He’s kind of all I think about at the minute. He seems lovely, so harder to imagine he’s not

I realise it wasn’t really going to turn into anything, but still feel down [o]