Whats the point if I'll never be a real man?

I can only ever be a cheap imitation, I'll never have a male childhood or experience or a true male body or genitals, what the fuck is the point? No one will ever respect me or take me seriously, i dont even respect myself or take myself seriously. Living in a female body is fucking hell. My grandma told me yesterday my body is growing beautifully, im so fucking disgusted of this life. I wish i was a guy so fucking bad im so fucking sick of everything