Newborn Baby Boundaries

We have just welcomed our first bub 6 weeks ago.

A month before she was born we sent out to close family members on both sides some simple boundaries for when she's born (wash your hands before holding her, don't come round if sick, no visitors etc). We also made the decision privately that we would not be texting anyone informing them I was in labour. This was advice given by friends with young kids and so many midwives. I wanted My husband and I to be fully present during labour and not be having to silence messages that kept coming in or providing updates for everyone. My husband's side of the family has respected and encouraged these boundaries, seeing how they have positively helped us in these early weeks. My side of the family has just come out saying that this whole time they have been utterly offended and taken aback by such things - especially the no visiting one and the fact I didn't let them know I was in labour. (I went to labour spontaneously and it went on for 34 hours 😳) They say we have deliberately cut them out of our baby's life and have made them afraid to hold her or do anything wrong. They are horribly upset that my husband and I have been exclusive in our little bubble and haven't made any efforts to invite them over because they have seen "wait to be invited over" and concluded that must mean radio silence from them. No check-in messages, no expressing that they are excited to meet her, no asking when a time might work. They also work full time during the week but have been busy on weekends so that has literally meant there hasn't been a time that has worked out so far!!?? We messaged them week 2 or 3 asking if they would like to visit but they were sick so we asked them to wait until they were well, but didn't hear any updates.

Are we crazy for setting boundaries? It has truly burst the happiest bubble I have ever had with my newborn baby because now I am second guessing every choice I make, message I send and outings I go on. I had a really positive birth experience and now I feel like I have a horrible grey cloud over everything that I can't shake.