I'm sorry God for being so ignorant.

I'm typing this before I go to bed, so I'm tired and if this comes across as weird, I'm sorry.

When I was a kid, there was a trans boy in my class and I didn't understand why everyone kept calling him a boy when, as far as I saw it, he was clearly a girl. It's not like he cut his hair or anything, and he had it in a ponytail.

I don't think anyone Really explained to me what being trans was, and just confused me by telling me I was wrong and it felt like gas lighting.

Even if it Was explained to me though, I'm not certain I would have understood it immedeately.

And even if I Did, I wouldn't have known the pain trans people go through their entire lives.

Well, karma came and slapped me on the but.

I'm a trans girl now, all grown up and kind of just wanting to not exist honestly.

All the people around me who don't respect my pronouns- How can I call myself better than them when they're just as ignorant as I was? They're kids. They don't understand because they don't have to live like I do.

I think about any of them and how their personality would Completely change if they felt gender dysphoria. If they were forced to confront the horrors of trying to live a girl's life in a boy's body or vice versa.

I often don't feel comfortable thanking God for stuff because I'm always so worried about everything. But this is from the heart-

God, thank you for showing me this. Thank you for letting me see how wrong I was. I am so so sorry for how stupid and ignorant I was before. Wherever that classmate is now, regardless of what's happened since elementary school, I hope they're doing okay. I know that if my views of LGBT people are wrong, you would show me it and the voices of all the overly straight people who try to tell me I'm wrong are unknowingly speaking for the Devil. Please God, if it is what's right, free me and as many people as possible from this psychological torment without changing who we are. Allow others to see us for who were are on the inside just as I try to do the same for others.

Goodnight guys.