I want to leave my fiance

This is going to be a jumbled rant but I need to get this off my chest. This is just some background information of why I want to leave my relationship. My fiance and I have been together for five years. The whole five years there have been many ups and downs. He put his hands on me for the first time a year into our relationship. It wasn’t an extremely violent situation, just choking during an argument we had. The second time happened a whole two years later- he punched my ear and threw me up against the corner of a wall. I got pregnant unintentionally in February of 2025. I was treated absolutely terrible through my entire pregnancy with him saying that he probably wasn’t the father (I had never cheated or been with anybody else EVER), him going to lingerie restaurants with his friends, calling me a crazy bitch when I got emotional, etc. And I was emotional. I was 20 years old, terrified to be a mother, cold turkeyed my anti depressants and vaping, and also had horrible preeclampsia. I feel so guilt about this but I contemplated suicide multiple times because I knew what life lay ahead of me. I’m grateful I didn’t, I love my son so much. He changed my life. Anyways, one morning when I was 8 months pregnant I had woke him up for his dentist appointment (this was the fourth one I had made—he no showed all the others) and he told me he wasn’t going and was going back to sleep. Mind you, it was 10am and he had stayed up all night gaming knowing he had this appointment. I got upset and told him he needed to go because I was going to be too embarrassed to call and reschedule for him. I shook his shoulder and once again said to wake up. He then shot up and grabbed my head and sort of slammed it into the bed and told me to stfu and held me there for a minute. When our son was born in October of 2025, the few 3 weeks were amazing. Other than the fact I stayed up all night with our son the night back from the hospital he got no sleep and said he was sooo exhausted from the hospital stay 🙃. It felt like we loved each other again. Then, he went back to work. He works in the oil field and his paternity leave was up. He works with his stepdad who decided to bring him to a lingerie bar. I’m not okay with things like that in a relationship, especially 4 weeks postpartum and dealing with preeclampsia fluid weight gain and my body completely changing. We had a huge fight because he got wasted and decided not to call me, or even tell me he was going to that place. His mother is also a huge factor in this. We got along great for the first few years, she had her problems but I was too young and naive to see how they would probably escalate in the future. She says weird vaguely sexual things about my fiance (her son) and it’s kind of a sick Freudian relationship between them. She is a horrible hypochondriac and is on a million different medications for mental/immune system disorders. She has never actually been diagnosed with anything physical despite in depth medical testing. She just lies about having things. Multiple family members have cut her off because she is violent in nature and has said that two of her family members r**** her. I’m not one to victim blame, but these accusations only come about when attention runs low. Same with her “illnesses”. She is basically your classic monster in law. She throws shots at me, says my child (who is my literal twin besides his hair color) looks nothing like me- only like my fiance, and oh! Called me big boned on thanksgiving 😁 I was 1 month postpartum- mind you I was 125 pounds before I got pregnant. I was never big boned, literally just had a baby. Anyways a couple months ago, my fiance had told his stepdad about a fight and she decided to insert herself in it. She stopped communication with me, never responded to pictures I sent of my child, and did not show up to our designated day for her to come see him. Honestly, I was relieved. But I knew there was going to be hell to pay in the future- which there was. My fiancé told me that both his mother and stepdad were now claiming I was keeping my child from them and encouraging my fiancé to leave me. They had not asked to see him once. One day, he had them on the phone on speaker. They did not know I was in the room and his stepdad said something along the lines of “when are you to let her take you off the leash and let us see our grandson”. And his mom was getting loud and said to put me on the phone. I responded that I had been listening. She then proceeded to call me disgusting names, said she had a lawyer, and that she was writing my son letters for him to read in the future so he could know how horrible I was. She threatened to beat me up 3 times during that call. And said I deserved to get beat as a child because I had a smart a** mouth. I was beat by my parents as a child often, and had been through a lot of court about it- she had read all the documents. She also said she wants to see my son, but only without me there. I was beside myself. I loved his parents, despite all the things they did. I never had parents myself and there were times they were the only family I had. I told my fiancé I did not want our child around somebody like that. Especially because I know she would cause a rift between me and my son by saying things to him. I love my son more than anything in this world, and I cannot stand the thought of him not being with me. Especially with someone like that. In the entire 7 months he was been on this earth we have only been apart twice, and both times it was just a couple hours. My fiancé said if I did not let our son see them I would be homeless. So two times now I have sat in my car in my in-laws drive way while they have one hour play dates with him. The only compromise we found is that. He pays the bills as I am a full time student/mother. I also breastfeed. I cannot drop out of school and afford to be a single mother. I have literally no help and no one to babysit while I work. He has told me he will not pay for daycare and if I decide to put him on child support that there’s something he can where I will only get a small fraction of his paycheck. His parents have also said they will get him a lawyer. The thought of coparenting makes me sick. A week away from my child sounds like hell ( he works two weeks on and one week off so he would get our son the off week). And I know he will bring him around his family and cross my boundaries. He is the type to be a bitter baby father.
Those are the major issues that I struggle with. For the most part he is not a bad person. He can be kind, he is financially supportive, and to be honest he is great with our son. I know he loves him.
I hate him now. What he put me through while I was pregnant and freshly postpartum makes me literally burn with rage. I hate what he let his family put me through. I want to leave so bad. I feel so much guilt because I never wanted my child to grow up in a broken family. I grew up in one and I know the damage it causes. I’m trying to hold out but my fiance does not want to do counseling and expects me to get over everything. I’m so miserable and all I can do is cry. I have two and a half years before I’m out of school and can start my career but everyday is so hard. I have no help at home as he is gone all the time and that makes it so much harder to cope as I have no break or peace while caring for my child. I crave love, understanding, intellectual conversations. I’m only 21 years old and just sit at home all day sewing and cooking. I know I got myself into this situation I just didn’t see the hole I dug until it was too late. Anyways, thanks if you made it this far. I just needed to tell somebody these things. I have no one to talk to.